Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Lost Books of the Bible: The Book Of Lola

Last week the Huffpo published a story on the number of words spoken by women in the Bible.  Only 49 women were named, and they spoke only 1.1% of the words of the Bible, according to a study published as a book: Bible Women: All The Words and Why They Matter.

We should remember, however, that there were many other "books" that were not chosen for inclusion in the Bible.  Could it be that they were excluded because women did too much talking?  There was a Gospel of Mary Magdelene   There was also a book of the Acts of Paul and Thecla.  Thecla was a disciple of Paul.  Both of these books were left on the cutting-room floor when the Council of Nicea made its final decision on which books should be considered canonical in C.E. 325  (though there was consensus for some time before that).

But if the Bible suppressed the voice of women what of the voice of tranvestites?  Certainly there must have been some, as pants had not yet been invented.  It would take only minor tailoring to cross-dress in those heady days of yore.

Fortunately, the work of archaeologists continues apace and recently the book of Lola has been discovered in a remote cave in the Middle East.  It has finally been translated, and I present it here:

And Lo, a Youth traveled to the ancient city of Soho, 
And thereupon he found a tavern to refresh after his travel.
And the wine there tasteth not like wine from grapes but wine from cherries.
And thence an adulteress approacheth the youth and invited him to join her in dance.
The youth, being in a strange place, requesteth the name of the adulteress.
She spoketh like a demon, saying Lola, LOLH, LULH, LVLH  (לולה)
לולה  לולה  לולה

The youth admitteth he that he was yet not a man
His spine was like that of a snakeskin - fragile and easily broken
He understandeth not the strength of the adulteress
Nor her gait nor the hoarseness of her voice.
She walketh like a woman yet talketh like a man.
לולה  לולה לולה 
They drinketh and danceth through the night
The stars lighted the tavern with unnatural glow
The woman Lola (לולה) picketh up the youth and setteth him upon her knee
She inviteth him to her dwelling for she knew him to be a visitor
The youth gazed upon her eyes and lo! he was nearly smitten
He went to leave from the door but afflicted was he and fell to his knees
He looketh upon her and she looketh upon him
לולה  לולה  לולה

The youth fixeth her image
He made her image as a statue in his spirit
לולה לולה לולה

Maiden thou shalt be youth, and youth thou shalt be maiden
The wonders of the world are myriad and confounded.
לולה  לולה  לולה

The youth, having departed from his parents one half a fortnight
Was unbetrothed and inexperienced with maidens
Lola took him unto her by the hand
And promised to transform him from youth to man

Thus transformed, youth into man, man from youth
Though he possesseth not the strength of Goliath
Knoweth he to be man and glad thereof
Knoweth he also that Lola was made man
לולה  לולה  לולה 


L.Long said...

The Book of Lola may not make the buyBull anymore valid but it would be more fun to read!

Anonymous said...

Ha, ha, ha.