My Take on "Elevatorgate"

Here's the recipe:
One atheist girl ventures into the male-dominated realm of atheism and gives a talk that includes a bit about not liking being treated as a sex object.

Add one atheist boy who has no idea that after you see the atheist girl give a talk you may feel you know her a little but she doesn't know you from ... uh... Adam.

Put them together in an elevator late at night.

Stir in one ill-conceived pick-up line in which geeky boy invites geeky girl to his hotel room. 

She says no.  He shrugs.  She blogs about the irony of being sexualized right after giving a talk about not liking being sexualized.  Boys who could have been him blog that it's no big deal.  Girls who could have been her blog that it is too a big deal.  A few atheists who have actually had sex weigh in.  A few men who imagine themselves equal to atheists who have actually had sex put their foot in it because they think that watching porn has taught them what they need to know about how to pick up women in elevators.

Then a big dick stirs the pot.

The pot boils over.

Oh what fun!

Here's the funny part:  most of the people who are frothing at the mouth over this actually know a little about evolution.   Some have even studied evolutionary psychology - you know, the science of why we have courtship rituals instead of using rape to further the species and how we differ from bonobos or chimpanzees.

Our courtship ritual involves approach and rejection or approach and reciprocation.  We all know that.  Why is it such a big deal that 1) a man approached a woman and 2) the woman rejected the advance?

Apparently, it needs to be spelled out.  As a student of krav maga and veteran of the dating scene in a big city, I am going to explain it to the clueless among you.  (You don't know who you are!)

Mating is a highly dangerous activity.  Both parties have to feel safe for it to be consummated, and if one party doesn't feel safe it's just not gonna happen unless the other party is a rapist.  Men, if you don't know this already:  approaching a woman you don't know is a threatening act!  DUH!  She doesn't know if you're a rapist or a Don Juan or Mr. Perfect.  You have to show her she can trust you before you invite her to your boudoir!  ALL women except perhaps "special" ones should assume strange men are potential rapists.  "Better safe than sorry" is a kind of evolutionary version of Pascal's wager.

Further, most men do understand this.  Asking a woman to your room out of the blue is just plain stupid and indicates that either 1) the man is just plain stupid or 2) the man thinks the woman is just plain stupid.  Men, this should be your last move, not your first one!  So right there, Rebecca was absolutely correct to think something was very wrong.  Going to someone else's territory would have put her in a very vulnerable position.  She was already away from home, so her own room was barely a sanctuary for her.

It's actually been demonstrated that women have a harder time identifying a rapist than men do.  Rapists' success comes from giving the appearance they are as safe as non-rapists in order to gain trust (think Ted Bundy).  They can also be successful by trapping a woman in a vulnerable place (such as the serial killers who attack prostitutes).  And in case we forget that some men are rapists and murderers, we have the news (formerly called "gossip") to remind us.  Notice that nobody ever finds naked men in ditches or ponds.  If there aren't enough real life rape-murders to remind women how vulnerable they are, we'll make up stories and call them "Criminal Investigation" or "Law and Order."

85-year-old woman getting mugged in an elevator

When in danger, we have a "fight or flight" instinct.  If you are in an elevator, you can't run away!  DUH!  If you are diminuitive and inexperienced in fighting, and you are in an elevator with someone bigger and stronger and potentially experienced in fighting, you are fucking doomed.  That goes for scrawny men, too.  Elevators are vulnerable places.  This is why there are security cameras in many of them.  It is also why people with normal social manners don't start conversations in elevators.  Nobody wants to have anything to do with anybody they don't know when they're in a tight space.

This happened late at night, and night time is dangerous for humans.  We don't see well at night and we don't react well at night.  If you are out late at night and someone wants to mess you up, you're kind of screwed just because of that.  Your brain is swimming in melatonin, and possibly alcohol.  Even if you could run away, could you take that first step before you get grabbed?  Could you run faster than your attacker?  Probably not.

Add to this the fact that she was an invited speaker at this event.  This is an honor and she no doubt felt flattered to have her THOUGHTS valued at the type of event where women tend to be in the minority.  If I had been in her shoes, I'd have been on a kind of high, feeling respected and perhaps admired, and if talk went well, competent.  Afterward she probably had a lot of engaging conversation with other attendees, which would elevate the buzz a notch or two.  And then moving instantaneously from that feeling to "Hey, piece of meat, let's get it on" (Not what he said, but what she heard) would be even more jarring than it normally would be ... in an elevator in a strange city in a strange country late at night with nobody around to help you.

My conclusions (based on my experiences and insight):

1. Atheist gatherings need more women in attendance to teach clueless men how to behave!
2. Being an atheist doesn't render one any more or less capable of doing something really stupid.
3. Being a scientist doesn't make one particularly smart about male-female relationships.  Possibly the opposite!
4. Being taken seriously for your opinions about atheism doesn't mean that people of the opposite (or even same) sex won't also find you attractive.  Again, possibly the opposite!
5. She should be congratulated for merely being insulted and then blogging about the experience.  He's lucky she doesnt' know krav maga!
6. Atheists disagree about things.  We only really agree on one thing, which is actually a non-thing.  Everything else is up for debate.
7. Women are correct in assuming that all men are potential rapists until proven otherwise.  It's in our DNA to protect our DNA.

Yes, it's de rigeur for everyone to blog about this.  I didn't want to feel I'd missed the bandwagon.  If you have blogged about this, feel free to link to it in the comments section.

And p.s. about that krav maga video, I've learned all those techniques except for the last one, so if you meet me in an elevator, keep the conversation above the neck, m'kay?

"Dead Assets" in Religious Holdings

From India:
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/07/05/india.temple.wealth/

Hoard of treasure uncovered in Indian temple

...Under orders of India's Supreme Court, officials since last week have been auditing precious royal offerings kept in underground vaults of the famed Sree Padmnabha Swamy temple in the coastal state of Kerala.

V.K. Hari Kumar, the shrine's executive officer, explained court-appointed observers were making records of the treasure. The stock-taking came after a legal petition over allegations of temple mismanagement.

...Indian media suggest the worth of the new-found religious trove is more than the nation's expenditure on education.

I wonder what would happen if the Mormons, Catholics, and megachurches were subject to the same kind of auditing.  Apparently some Indians are shocked to discover a parallel economy working through religion. They shouldn't be.  Vishnu's many arms are handy for grabbing up the wealth of believers!

I find it strange that the right-wing in the U.S. includes people who are against taxes yet think it's okay for the church to demand a 10% tithe.  The tithes supposedly go (at least partly) to missions overseas, where they build up the infrastructure and spread "The Word" at the same time.  If they got their way and the U.S. could no longer afford roads, bridges, water filtration or education, would they move their tithe money to the U.S. infrastructure?  Apparently India's religions have plenty of money locked up in their vaults to take over for Mother Teresa's cult.  Who knows how much money could be redircted to worthy projects if people in other countries & the U.S. gave up their fairy tales?

Vacation Bible School

I stopped believing in God through skeptical thinking: I found the whole idea of a supernatural entity as preposterous as the ideas of New Age nonsense.  Having recently tried (again) to belong to a church and read the bible and all the rest of it, I just couldn't see any particular reason to be a believer other than wanting to believe.

The Bible's Like a Box of Chocolates

That is apparently enough for many believers.  I doubt that most believers know who William Lane Craig is.  The Catholics I know haven't pursued religious education beyond catechism, or perhaps Catholic high school.  The evangelical Christians I know seem satisfied with psychological comfort.  Other than a few Bible verses that they quote frequently, they don't seem particularly well-versed in what their religion actually teaches. Many of the believers I have encountered have never actually read the Bible cover-to-cover.  If they go to church at all, they let their pastor's pablum suffice for "theology."  One I know insisted that nobody could ever memorize all 150 psalms even though monks have been chanting them from memory since about the Fourth Century (or even earlier).

For most of the history of Christianity, believers were indeed illiterate.  Slaves of the American South were even prohibited from learning to read, but they were Christianized nevertheless.  American education began with "Sunday School," when children were taught a few basics after church in order to learn to read.  After public education took over the task, "Sunday School" became religious education.

Now there is also "vacation bible school," a week when parents send their children off to be indoctrinated in order to get a break from them during the long hot summer.  Around here, they have bought the "Pandamania" system.  You see a child wearing panda ears and you know they're Christian.  Forget crosses and forehead smudges, yes, it is now panda ears that mark your children for Christ.  Here's the curriculum:

Day 1
Bible Point: God made you.
Bible Story: God creates the world. (Genesis 1)
Bible Verse: "Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!" (Psalm 139:14)

i.e., Creationism 101. You are complex, therefore Goddidit.  Everything else is complex too, uhhhh.  Let's sing a song!

Day 2
Bible Point: God listens to you.
Bible Story: Elijah confronts the prophets of Baal. (1 Kings 18:16-39)
Bible Verse: "You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord." (Psalm 139:4)

i.e., God listens to you say what he pre-ordained you would say.  So do you really have to say it?  Why does he pre-ordain it anyway?  And if blasphemy is a sin, then he knows you're going to say it and doesn't prevent you from saying it so you go to Hell and he has pre-ordained it.  uhh.... Let's sing a song and make bamboo crafts!

Day 3
Bible Point: God watches over you.
Bible Story: Jonah tries to escape from God. (Jonah 1-3)
Bible Verse: "Even in darkness I cannot hide from you." (Psalm 139:12)

Leave your happy bits alone. God can see what you're doing under your sheets.  Let's sing a happy song!  Wheee

Day 4
Bible Point: God loves you, no matter what.
Bible Story: Jesus dies and comes back to life. (Luke 23:1-24:12)
Bible Verse: "Lead me along the path of everlasting life." (Psalm 139:24)

So God knew in advance you'd eventually say or think something damnable, then he decided to make his good son suffer in your place.  So go ahead and sin all you want because God loves you!  Let's sing a happy song and pretend we're hungry pandas in a bamboo forest!

Day 5
Bible Point: God gives good gifts.
Bible Story: God gives Hannah a baby. (1 Samuel1:1-2:11)
Bible Verse: "You place your hand of blessing on my head." (Psalm 139:5)

Remember, kids... when you grow up you must procreate, and if you put your happy bits together with someone else's happy bits and someone winds up pregnant, you must have that baby even if it's the result of rape or incest, or is deformed or or will force you into poverty or will kill you.  Because babies are gifts.  God puts babies on your head.  uhhh  Let's put on panda ears and sing a happy song!

What does a panda have to do with any of this? It's a distraction. It keeps the children from thinking too hard about what they're being told. This quote from a review is very telling:

On our last day, we had a parent come for the first time. She cried during the entire program because of the presence of God's love and the love that was expressed for all the children especially her two daughters. This was truly a God sighting.

The other reviews mention how great the songs are, or they talk about the crafts.  They don't say anything about the theology of what they're supposedly teaching these kids.  They don't say anything about the Bible. They might as well be hari krishnas.

More Facebook Funnies

One of my FB friends posted this:

May the Lord guide you today, your steps, your words, and your actions. Ask Him and He will give you the answers. And remember, sometimes silence IS an answer!

*sigh*

Even if I were still a believer, I wouldn't subscribe to the version of Christianity where any person can whip up prayers and homemade theology and then spread it around.  When I see some of the atheist arguments against the arguments for faith, I have to wonder if they've ever encountered Christians like this.  There's no philosophical debating with this kind of "theology."

9/11 and Atheist Activism

I have met more than one atheist who became more open about their atheism because of 9/11. I wasn't shy about telling people I was an atheist, but I didn't read books on it or go to meetups or websites until 9/11.  Afterward, I found the Bush Administration's reference to the Crusades and to religious reasons for fighting back very ironic.  They didn't dial back their religiosity at all in the face of that negative example of what religion can do.  They actually upped it, but not the country.  I think turning to prayer to overcome other people who turn to prayer had to stick in the craw of at least a few believers.

Anywho, I discovered this video in which Sam Harris talks about how he was affected too:

Suicide Bombers and Polygamy

I have a theory about why young muslim men can be persuaded to commit suicide for a cause:  polygamy.

It is mathematically impossible for all young men to get married if they live in a society that allows men to have multiple wives, but does not allow women to have more than one husband.  The ratio of men to women in Afghanistan is 1.05 to 1, hardly enough to accommodate a polygamous lifestyle.  In Saudi Arabia, home to bin Laden, the ratio is even worse: 1.27 for each woman.

Is it any surprise that suicide "martyrs" are promised a harem in heaven?  Islamic law limits the number of wives to four (although bin Laden's slutty daddy had twelve -- apparently you can bend the laws if you're rich even in Islam).  And although polygamy is permitted, there has to be a good reason for it.  The man also has to prove that he is able to treat all the wives and children equally, i.e. besides being affectionate to them all he has to provide material support.

So what hope does a man have if he's educated enough to make a decent living, but not educated enough to make a polygamous living?  Palestinian suicide bombers are enticed by promises of financial support for their impoverished families.  For a middle-class Saudi man, that won't fly.  And unlike a Palestinian, that middle-class Saudi is giving up quite a bit when he sacrifices his life.   They have to up the ante to get them to fall on their sword so to speak.

I haven't seen anybody else make that connection.  This article on infidels.org brought it to mind today, especially this part:

The holy killers left behind a testament they had shared among themselves, saying they were doing it for God: "Know that the gardens of paradise are waiting for you in all their beauty," they assured each other, "and the women of paradise are waiting, calling out, 'Come hither, friend of God.' They have dressed in their most beautiful clothing."

They did it for the wimmin.  Believing that Heaven is a real place was prerequisite of course, but Heaven had to have more appeal than the Judeo-Christian ideal of an eternity of floating around in space and praising God's arse for eternity.  I think it's amusing that they expected virgins, though.  The reason for wanting a virgin on Earth presumably has something to do with ensuring your children will really be yours.   There's no pregnancy in Heaven, so why not have a harem of prostitutes?  They'd be a lot more fun.

There are many possible motivations for killing people, and suicide bombers share them, but promising a harem to unloved young men certainly adds to the mix of possible motivations.  Add the gullibility of religious adherents who will believe anything, and you can promise them the most ridiculous things to get them to off themselves.  The 9/11 hijackers certainly seemed to have polygamous ambitions.

Another BIble-Reading Child-Abusing Murdering Liar

http://www.thestarpress.com/article/20110623/BUSTED/106230327/Documents-McConniel-patriarch-beat-tortured-Lauren

Lee has an online Facebook page that he has communicated with friends and relatives on. It also features a photo of Lee and lists some of his favorite things -- the Bible among them, along with a blog featuring religious-themed commentary

It's too bad he didn't read the parts that tell him not to hit a child or not to rape an underage girl.

oh yeah, there aren't any!