Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Why Atheists are Angry: Ten Things that Believers are Doing that are Ruining the World

We're not angry at God.  You can't be angry at a fairy tale.  So if you are a Christian and this is what you've been told, erase it from your brain NOW!  But we do have a few gripes. 

Believers have been working hard at ruining the world of late.  We live here too and we don't like the way Christians have been doing things.  Other religionists are often just as bad.  So if you sense anger from some of us, it's because you've been behaving badly.  If you don't want us to be angry, try not being dicks.  You can start with these ten things:

These are 10 things that piss us off:

1.  Killing people.  Jihadists, abortion doctor murderers, presidents who believe they're on a mission from God... they all suck and they're all evil, and they all believe they're going to be rewarded for the horrible things they're doing.  So right off:  STOP KILLING PEOPLE.  Sure, some atheists kill people too but not for atheism.  For other reasons (which also suck).  But you won't see atheists flying planes into buildings or shooting people at church, and you won't see groups of atheists celebrating some horrible misdeed by a fellow atheist.  We want some of you to fuck off and die, but we're not running around offing you ourselves.

2.  Trying to make everyone else believe in fairy tales.  Stop sending out missionaries.  You believe in your fairy tales because some ruler eons ago decided those were the ones to believe and your peasant ancestors had to go along with it.  You may believe in some split-off version of it but that's basically it.  Scientologists, you too, even though you have different tactics.  And Falun gung - stop xeroxing pamphlets and handing them out on the streets of DC.  Secretaries and janitors can't help your cause and making them late for their coffee break at Starbucks just ticks them off.  Muslims: get out of the prisons.  Jehovah's witnesses: get off my front porch.  Mormons: stop dressing like 1950s ice cream parlor nerds and riding around on bicycles.  Get real jobs and make a contribution to society.  Sure, the First Amendment guarantees you have the right to do this, but you can't complain that we get pissed off at it.  We have our rights, too.  If you don't stop, we'll start knocking on your doors!

3.  Semi-universalist "tolerance."  Incredibly, people who believe in a god will respect people who believe in a different god more than they'll respect someone who rejects them all.  WTF?  That makes no sense at all.   Those other people disbelieve 99% of gods, just as you do, but one they accept is one that you reject and vice versa.  You disagree with them more than you disagree with atheists!  At least we agree with you about those other peoples' gods.

4.  Creationism/Intelligent Design.  If you really believe that evolution is "just a theory" and should be ignored, then please put your money where your mouth is and stop believing in the germ theory of disease transmission.  Stop getting vaccinated, taking antibiotics, washing your hands, and drinking treated water.   Let's see how soon you change your mind about what "theory" means!

5.  Claiming the rights to "family values."  Your families are no better than anybody else's and you know it.  You get mental illnesses and addictions at the same rate.  You divorce at a higher rate.  If you're predisposed to a hot temper you believe in "spare the rod, spoil the child" and if you're a softie you don't believe in hitting your kids.  It has nothing to do with religion!   You pick and choose what "family values" are in your religion based on the ones that you happen to like.  And too often your idea of "love" includes telling your children that an invisible magic despot is reading their minds and wants to send them to hell for having the wrong thoughts.  Then you perform a ritual that symbolizes (or actually is, depending on your theology) cannibalism.  Giving them Christmas presents makes up for this abuse for awhile but wouldn't it be better if you didn't make them afraid eternal punishment before they can even tell time?

6.  Bigotry.  The KKK and other hate groups claim that God is on their side.  'nuff said.

7.  Claiming your religion is valid because of the beautiful art it inspired. Hey, everyone's religion inspired beautiful art.  That proves nothing.  Bach composed non-religious music.  Michelangelo created Hellenistic artwork.  The art of Hindus is truly gorgeous.  None of that art validates religion as a whole or any particular religion.  So stop trying to claim all the world's greatest artists as your own.  If they got paid more to create art for their religion it's because their religion was a rapacious money-grubbing greedy abusive power within that particular culture.  Artists may have claimed to be sincere about their art, but wouldn't it be foolish of them to express an iota of cynicism toward their sugar daddies?  And even if they were sincere, that doesn't mean they wouldn't have been great artists if they'd been atheists.  They would have been just as talented and taken on different subjects.

8.  Telling atheists what we believe.  We've read your books, but have you read ours?  Here's some news: we don't have a catechism.  We don't have a list of questions we have to answer to be atheists and we don't have to answer your questions, either.  If you insist on asking me where I'll go when I die then I'll have no recourse but to ask you why the Gospels trace Jesus' genealogy through Joseph when he was supposed to have been conceived by God, or why it was okay for Lot to have sex with his daughters but not okay for his wife to look over her shoulder at her former home as it burned.  Religion only answers the questions it poses, and the questions beg the answers.  Not believing in a god doesn't mean we believe in "nothing."  Not believing in the Ten Commandments doesn't mean we have no morality. 

9.  Accusing us of being arrogant.  Okay, so many of us are smarter than you, but you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know bullshit when you smell it.  It's not arrogant to say "I see no evidence for religion so I don't believe in it."  It's not even arrogant to say that gods don't exist.  At least not more arrogant than saying that other peoples' gods don't exist.  In fact I think that believers are the arrogant ones.  Not only do you believe in something for which there is no validated proof, but you think that you're smart enough to have chosen the correct belief system, and the correct splinter group as well.  Okay, sure your ancestors picked it for you, soaked your culture in it, indoctrinated your parents, and they in turn perpetuated the indoctrination to the point where you have no sense of perspective whatever, but you picked the correct parents!  Well done!

10.  Going to Bob Evans after church.  I'm just waking up and I need a bottomless cup of coffee and a place to do some quiet reading.  Besides driving behemoth vehicles I can't park near, you take up all the good tables and the wait staff pay more attention to you.  Also, stop dressing up if you insist on doing this.  You make the rest of us look bad.  Sunday mornings should be mandatory casual dress day.  All my good stuff is in the laundry hamper on Sunday morning.  You don't want me stinking up your Bob Evans with my skanky weekday work clothes do you?  I'm getting paid to dress nice at work, and I sure as heck wouldn't dress nice for Bob Evans.  Their slogan is "down on the farm" get it?  Dress like a farmer!  (only cleaner).   And tell your brats to stop kicking my seat!

There are probably many many more things you do to tick us off but that's a quick list.

Note:  This post was inspired by The Human Ape at Darwin Killed God, though the anger is my own.


L.Long said...

The post is OK.
And before some religious nut tells you that you are going to hell;
I invite you to join me to sing with the drunken angels on the merry side of Hell!!!

Infidel753 said...

A solid piece. #4 is a little too close to their actual track record. So many technological innovations designed to reduce suffering, from lightning rods to antibiotics to anesthesia for childbirth, were opposed by the religionists of the day on the grounds of some taboo or superstition or other. They're still doing it, with stem cells. Sure, they've accepted some innovations, but they only seem to do that after something has become so commonplace that it no longer smells of "science" to them and has become just part of the general environment. They're always a generation or two behind.

Anti-Theist said...

I recommend that #9 be amended to mention that Christians are incredibly arrogant because: They believe that the entire universe was created for them; that man was ordained to rule over all other creatures; that the "creator" cares about them on a personal level; and that they will enjoy eternal bliss while those who disagree will suffer eternal torture. I can't see any possible way to be more arrogant than that!

krissthesexyatheist said...

As if we are not human. Atheist get angry because people make us angry, just like anyone else. So stupid head to claim that atheist are angry (that we wake up angry or something like that). Great post, yo. awesomeness.


LadyAtheist said...

Good points everybody. Thanks!

A lot of this applies to New Age nuttery (esp #4) but New Agers pretty much leave me alone so it's hard to get angry with them.

B.R. said...

Damn, a Ten-Hit Combo!


(*tell your brats to stop kicking my seat!*)



LadyAtheist said...